- me: hi
- my family: omg she's out of her room!!! she's alive!!! lolololool
- me: bye
50 Shades of Bullshit
All these women are like “Omg, I feel so dirty but this whipping sex scene really turns me on.” Bitch, please. I’m 16 and I talk about rough bondage sex between two fictional gay characters that I read on the Internet at lunch. Get with it.
The Russell Howard fandom on Tumblr is unbelievable! I feel like I finally found my home.
if i had a voice like morgan freeman i would just walk around the streets following people and pretend to narrate their lives
The Best Thing Happened To Me Today In Math Class
We had a substitute for Math because my actual teacher had personal business to attend to. We weren’t doing much, just some little project, and today it was storming in Texas. So this enormous clap of thunder shakes the walls and everybody starts screaming. Then I look over at the teacher’s desk to see our substitute standing up from his chair and shouting, “Shut up Thor! Loki isn’t here!”
LOKI ISN’T HERE.
We became best friends after that, obviously.
